What Happens If I Let My House Go Into Foreclosure

What Happens If I Let My House Go Into Foreclosure – Hey everyone 🍻 I was a little hesitant to write about this topic because I think it’s a bit controversial and too personal (many people have different views on drinking), but me and my BF have been dealing with this ongoing drinking problem for a long time. problems with our r/s for 9 years and so far so good. I just thought it would be nice if I could help someone who might be having the same problem! This could even be applied to other problematic things like smoking, I guess!

✧ which includes how both parties see the problem and what their issues are with the problem. There may be an underlying cause for this problem and you need to find out.

What Happens If I Let My House Go Into Foreclosure

✧ context: I met my partner in high school, so drinking wasn’t really a problem at the time, but over time and as I got older, alcohol seemed to be the main bond between my best friend and his friends. During my military days we used to drink every week with his army buddies and I didn’t mind because we only had the weekends to spend together and I saw this as more time to hang out! As time went on, I agreed to only go out with him for drinks on Sundays, even though I didn’t really enjoy them, mostly because I felt like I had to worry about his safety.

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✧ Why I hate drinking + problem: I’ve been really tired lately because I have to go out and drink. Maybe it’s because I’m at a different stage in life – but I find drinking a waste of time because it’s an unproductive activity and I’d rather be at home HAHA. This is mainly because I’m really bad at drinking and I know my limits pretty well. I don’t like that either, so when I drink I actually just get drunk and scroll on my phone while others are playing games and such. In addition, I am a person who wants to control my life, and I do not believe in doing addictive, expensive and unhealthy things (eg drinking, smoking). This is mainly because I focus on productivity and super consequences! My main problem though is that I am VERY anxious – I tend to exaggerate the consequences of drinking alcohol in my head called DEATH (lol). I’m also someone who is very anxious and insecure due to the trauma of a past relationship hahaha – so even though I knew I didn’t want to go, I still felt like I had to. TLDR, my biggest problem is that I feel like BF drinks too much.

✧ my partner’s opinion about drinking + problems: on the other hand, my partner likes drinking because he is good at it and sees it as a good way to connect with his friends. Moreover, it is the best social activity for all of them. BF is human now, so he doesn’t really see the consequences of drinking alcohol. what he doesn’t like is my aggressiveness when he’s drunk and i say “see i told you so” “i know” (sorry i know it’s bad but i feel like i have to be the mom HAHA). He also doesn’t see me drinking sacrificing the HAHA I get because he’s a safe person!! TLDR, my boyfriend’s biggest problem is that he feels like I’m always nagging him HAHA.

– This suits me best! After some time I realized that you cannot change people and determine their values ​​and what they like. For example, I’m someone who makes the person I love my world when I’m in love VS my best friend who considers the person she loves to be a very separate person. Also, maybe I don’t like drinking and he does – so it’s important that we figure something out together!

– for us this means determining a good drinking frequency. We decide once a week, but we are often flexible!

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✧ Give each other time and space because we should complement each other, not complete each other

– This is very important! I think because of my attachment type, I tend to be clingy and always want to maximize the time I spend with my partner. However, I have learned that in life you have to live your life. Do things that make you happy! I’ve learned that alcohol is a big source of contention for us, so instead I’m not obligated to drink with him and use that time to do my own thing (especially when I have limited time, doing grown-up things!). we also set certain days to do other things together as a way to spend quality time (because I like drinking as our quality time). Keep this in mind as my partner likes to improvise and go with the flow and I’m a planner – booking days helps us prioritize better!

✧ Be aware of the problem and always consider how your partner feels – this way your partner knows you care about them and are trying to make it happen!

— This remark is quite relevant, because I think a lot of unhappiness comes from my partner not knowing what makes me uncomfortable, and also from something that I don’t think has boundaries? it’s important to say it and then be aware of your actions that can cause conflict and unhappiness! For example, I would get mad if my partner kisses their friend’s forehead, but apparently it’s normal for some people hahaha. It’s important to talk!

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✧ If your partner has an anxious attachment type, you might try to include them in your plans!

— for me this is better because our circles often overlap and I used to get hurt if he didn’t ask me (mostly because our friends took it as asking him = he would ask me + AND FOMO HAHAHAHA I just wanted him to ask so I know what I mean ). so that’s what he does now and i decide if i go or not!!

✧ show gratitude both ways – like I said, rs is based on compromise! it is important to give and receive

– For example. he tries to watch shows i like because he knows i went drinking with him even though i didn’t like him

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✧ Take responsibility for making your partner feel safe – make an action plan to ease your partner’s worries! — my main concern is my friend’s well-being (he has bad drinking habits, e.g. he can sleep outside on the road -__- + he loses his things) – my friend always tells me where he is + I do the same! but this is not a strict rule but more than what we are used to in the hospital lol to avoid worry! we also use an app called LIFE360 that has notifications when he comes home. It’s not important to follow his every move, but to know that he’s safe at home! sometimes he also calls me and sends me a telebubble when he’s at home. I also bought him an air ticket to put in his bag in case he loses it 🙂

– This helped me change my perspective a bit so that I no longer considered drinking out to “hang out with him” as important. on the other hand, I know that even if I don’t go out drinking, I’ll still look forward to our time together! we also spend time with friends and family doing other activities, which really helps calm my FOMO

✧ Talk about your needs and your unhappiness, because suppressing your feelings only makes them count!

Of course we still have work in progress! Hope this helps and I’d love to hear if you have any other tips to share *no judging please :~) I’m definitely not in perfect RS, and my BF and I are completely different people (as most of our friends know ). However, we both believe that love is a choice and we always try to do everything we can to make things work. I had to learn to let go of my past, learn to love and trust again. I can’t say I’ve fully learned all these things yet, I’ve let go of my past and the people in it. Out of sight, trust is given to those who deserve it, and I don’t really trust anyone else. Love is complicated, sometimes I love myself and sometimes I can’t stand it

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