How To Talk To Your Spouse About Finances

How To Talk To Your Spouse About Finances – As I stood at the store’s register, I watched the total go up and up until finally I had stolen almost $400 worth of clothes. My eyes widen as I realize I have to talk to my husband about this purchase (and possibly return it).

I went through things and put back everything I didn’t need. Anyway, $313 is on the screen. With a bit of a thump, I paid for my things and left the store.

How To Talk To Your Spouse About Finances

Questions like these bombard me as I work out how to talk to my husband about money without fighting (or crying). Early in our marriage, I didn’t think twice about this purchase. If you want, you buy. But after five years, I learned that this kind of thinking leads to the wrong path. Talking about money and our spending habits (more like my spending) is an important part of our relationship.

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The number one issue that couples argue about is money. You think if you have enough money in the bank you won’t have any problems. But a lie detector test found it was FALSE.

I came to the conclusion that the problem is not how much money we have or don’t have, but how we spend it. Not surprisingly, David and I were opposites.

In our marriage, I am the spender, the “free spirit” and my husband is the saver, also known as the “nerd.” If I want something, I will buy it, regardless of the cost. Amazon packages flow right to the front door and lunch has become almost a daily occurrence.

Such behavior created a rift in our marriage. Our values ​​and goals are different. Our spending philosophy is different. Actually, I also think my husband is worried about us ending up in a homeless shelter (insert eyeballs).

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Although I have the right to buy what I want and need (I’m a grown woman who works and earns my own money), I feel wrong about how I do it.

According to the Ramsey Solutions Survey, “A third of people who say they’ve argued with their spouse about money say they hide the purchase from their spouse because they know the spouse won’t agree.” I was part of the third one and still am sometimes.

When money is an issue in a relationship, it’s easy to find quick fixes instead of solving the real problem.

The problem with this solution, besides being rude, is that it accomplishes nothing. But they cover up the root problem and postpone the problem for another time. If we keep going, we will end up on a destructive path to a financial imbalance in our relationship, which will lead us straight to divorce.

How To Talk With Your Spouse About Money

Conversations about money don’t have to be one-way. However, the discussion should involve both sides. Discuss your short-term and long-term goals, your education, and how your family manages money. The key is to understand your partner’s money philosophy and they understand yours. Money talks should always be two-way, even if only one person is working. If not, talk to your partner and seek help from a trusted mentor, friend or counselor.

Advice. Don’t start this conversation when you’re paying bills or asking questions. Remove all emotion from this discussion and instead focus on the way forward. If the feeling starts to set in, stop and start again later. Better yet, find a Financial Peace University course at your local church. This course will set you up for success!

Discuss, set and follow boundaries. What does your budget look like? Can you make fun money? Is there an appropriate threshold that both parties are willing to discuss before making a purchase (eg a purchase over $500, etc.) What financial goals do you have as a couple (do you want to buy a house?)? Your plans exceed your budget; it’s your collective money mindset. If you agree on something, stick to it.

A year into our marriage, David and I were finally living together and decided it was time to pool our finances. We discussed the “budget” and came up with an account we called “fun money.” This money bucket is what we agreed that I can spend money on every month for non-essentials like eating out with friends, random Amazon purchases, etc. We also decided that purchases over $200 would be discussed together.

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Communicate regularly if something isn’t working. If the boundaries you set at the beginning don’t work for you or your family, the conversation can spiral out of control. Problems arise when we let go of our feelings and die. Find a moment when you are not emotional or stressed and talk about your thoughts. Does it work? What’s not working?

Even though my husband and I agree on the idea of ​​a $200 limit, I still constantly overspend. I’m more conscious about my purchases, but for the life of me I can’t figure out how to spend under the agreed upon limit. David always responded kindly and rarely talked about my habits, but I used a personal credit card that I had no access to to cover recent purchases. I would even shop after paying the bill, knowing I had a month before he could see what I bought.

Such behavior is not good (but you probably already know…). If you’re hiding or intentionally omitting details about your spending or activities, you should know you have a problem and your marriage is at risk. If you can’t find the courage to talk to your husband, ask yourself why? Get help from a counselor or trusted friend who will hold you accountable.

Check the heart. When it comes to money, always check your heart. What causes problems or arguments? Are you interested in material things instead of marriage? Your wife? Why does talking about money cause fights? Don’t blame him; instead, look within. What damage can you control? What are the weaknesses that can be changed? You can’t control your partner, but you can control yourself.

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When I stopped to think about why I was disappointed in my husband, I realized that I was materialistic and felt that David was trying to control me. It took a lot of prayer and humility to focus on my heart and sin rather than the hope of throwing my husband away. We don’t know everything, but God continues to work in us and through us.

Having tough money conversations with your spouse can be difficult. It’s vulnerable when we talk about our struggles with money management and wanting to buy everything, but friends, it’s important. Start with the foundation. Talk about where you want to go as a couple. Dream about the future as you did at the beginning of your relationship. Then make a plan and adjust as needed. Finally, check your heart. You can’t control your partner, but you can control yourself. Enter the conversation with humility and a desire to love your partner well. Talking about money with your partner can be intimidating for most of us, especially when your opinions are so different.

You’re putting your life together, and money plays a big part in that because it’s involved in almost everything you do as a couple.

So in this article I’m going to show you how to talk to your partner about money in 9 easy steps. And without a fight.

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The most important thing you can do is let your partner know that you want to talk to them about money.

Also, tell them about a specific money topic you’re thinking about. for example. Maybe it’s your first talk about money, the credit card issues you’re facing, changing careers to earn more, student loan debt, buying a new car, house, saving for retirement, etc.

So your husband or wife is also ready for this money talk. That way, they can be ready, open-minded, and give their full attention.

Pick a date, time, and location that works for you, then schedule it into your calendar.

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If you have children, make plans to keep them busy or watch others so they don’t interrupt your conversation. Another thing you can do is talk after the kids go to bed.

In other words, be willing to appreciate your part in financial ruin and take responsibility for changing it. Are you overspending? Do you have a secret account?

Talking about money in marriage is not always easy. But you can do it! Click to Tweet Step 3: Connect.

Hold your spouse’s hand during the conversation as it’s a good reminder that you’re on the same team.

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Interrupting interrupts the conversation and tells your partner that you don’t care

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