How To Talk About Relationship Problems With Your Partner

How To Talk About Relationship Problems With Your Partner – How to Talk About Relationship Problems with Your Boyfriend – 12 Experts Share Their Best Tips and Tricks

By Jennifer Whitfield, Karen Koenig, Kristen Brown, JaNaè Taylor, Diana Lang, Kelly Mothner, Margie Ulbrick, Carrie McCrudden, Anne Shopp, Robin Ennis, Margie Ahern, Amanda Harmon

How To Talk About Relationship Problems With Your Partner

We are so excited that this will be “our life” that we stop discussing difficult topics for fear of rocking the boat and losing what we strive to achieve.

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We try to control the success of relationships by keeping our mouth shut when we are unhappy, unhappy or disrespectful. For most people, this is a natural process; However, this is the opposite of what we should actually do.

Yes, you heard it! Literally in word and deed. When we show another our true, unchanging nature, we actually give them (and ourselves) more respect.

This is who I am and I am giving you the opportunity to love or be loved. If you mess up, I will stay until you decide to respect who I am and respect my line.

Keeping any part of ourselves separate from the eyes of our partner is actually lying about who we are.

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So when we decide on a relationship we slowly show our true colors and guess what? Then no one is happy because the dynamic that once brought you together is based on fiction, and your partner feels betrayed and angry.

Again, by withholding information, we lie to our partner, pretending that their behavior is appropriate. Our partner should never “just know” how to behave. I talk to many people every day and for more than 25 years and I want to say that we are all very different.

No one “just knows” what you think, need, feel, want, desire, resist, fear, admire or love.

We need to make Tagga as clear as possible, so that our partner can choose to follow the Boundary/Acceptable Care Guidelines (page 187 of my book) or not.

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For example, some women have no problem with their husband going to high bars and he might even join in. On the other hand, some women see the highest resting point as performance.

If the man is from a previous relationship that was true, how can he know that you don’t approve?

Pretending everything is fine (for now) and then snapping when you’re feeling safe isn’t cool. I sold his false self. Even if he could care about the high bar, changing his late game could start a fight that could have been avoided early.

Many of the best relationships I’ve known have had some stops and starts. It is important to remember that no one is perfect. There is no hero in shining armor.

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He will need your love and boundaries to help him overcome behaviors that will cause problems for your union. But first you have to be willing to talk to him!

To have the ability to present difficult issues and break through any boundaries, you need to have 3 basic facts.

The reason most of us get confused when faced with a difficult question is that we don’t believe deep down in one or all of the above three truths.

If we do not accept these basic facts, we will always walk in a stream, not a straight line, when it comes to the value of ourselves, that is, to give different knowledge of our person. For those who are used to doing things in a particular way, a mixed message is like a green light.

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If it’s not important for you to get up, it won’t be important for him to change.

Know your worth and have the courage to talk about difficult issues. This is how great relationships are built!

For women, this can be especially frustrating, because women are often labeled as “angry” when they bring up something that bothers them.

Although there is no crystal ball to see how the recipient will react to what you have to say, it is important to express your thoughts and feelings regardless of whether you think the other person will be upset.

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When you hold back your feelings for fear of hurting someone else’s feelings or avoiding an argument, anger begins.

When you try to ignore your feelings, they come out one way or another. Most of the time, it hurts and you may say or do something you will regret.

Strong communication using “I” statements is one way to improve communication and is a healthy way to get your point across.

While you cannot control what the other person says or does, you can control your own actions and reactions.

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Some examples might be, “I feel ignored when you watch TV, when I talk to you,” or “I feel angry when I don’t get help at home.”

When you use “I feel” statements, they are less offensive and the other person is more open to the conversation.

Also, when you talk to someone, make sure you remember what you hear.

For example, you can say, “I hear you’re saying…”, “I think you mean…” This is a way to let the recipient know that you hear them and that you respect what they have to say. to say. You may not always agree with what the other person says, but you can respond respectfully without disagreeing with them.

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Also, writing down what you want to say to someone can be very helpful, especially for those who are afraid to talk about the subject.

You can edit your words until they are correct. You can also send a letter to the person you want to contact or simply read your letter verbatim. .

Finally, when you sit down to talk, it is helpful to remove all distractions such as TV, radio, children, friends, etc.

When there is an audience, sometimes people feel judged or attacked and may not respond well. As we mentioned earlier, the person you are trying to talk to about your feelings may or may not respond the way you like.

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One of the best ways to find out if something is right for you is to bring it up (slowly) and see how it’s received.

Does your lover change the subject, bring up the same topic, and never question what you want to say, or tell you that you are too emotional or stupid, or that you live a beautiful life and don’t complain?

Or does he or she listen with interest and compassion, hearing you and giving an honest response that lets you know how special you are, despite or even because of your feelings?

What I am suggesting can be difficult in a new relationship because whenever you feel hurt, depressed or angry, you may be afraid of how your loved one will react to what you are going through.

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Depending on what happened in a previous relationship (before childhood) where you were sharing real feelings that the other person may not want to hear, you may feel more or less uncomfortable. Unplug and you are now vulnerable.

Sometimes we jump at what could be the last straw, but that’s not really the problem. Take some time to think about what you are feeling and what is really bothering you.

When your loved one walks in the door, picks up the phone, or is trying to meet a deadline at work, this is not the time when he or she will be most open to your thoughts and feelings. Wait for the two of you to relax and listen and understand each other better. You might even want to ask, “Do you have a moment to talk about something important to me?”

Think about how you will feel after hearing what you want to say. Frame your message as “When you do X, I feel Y.” Don’t be afraid to express that you have been hurt, belittled, disappointed or left out. Tell the truth without blaming. It’s hard, so you should practice what you’re going to say beforehand or write an outline.

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Turn off your frustration and turn it into a mode of excitement and passion. Listen carefully to your loved one’s response and pay attention to non-verbal cues and body language that will tell you how the message was received. Give your loved one time to respond.

It’s hard, it takes courage and the willingness to show your true self. Expressing your true needs is essential if you want an honest and caring relationship.

# Ask yourself: how is this possible?

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