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How To Keep Finances Separate In Marriage

How To Keep Finances Separate In Marriage

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Marriage is all about compromise, and whether you’ve been married for two weeks or twenty years, it’s important to work with your spouse. But here’s the thing – working together financially can be challenging. In fact, according to a recent study, 21% of divorced adults cited money as a reason for their breakup.

But here’s the good news: With honest communication and a shared plan, you and your spouse can manage money as a team. Of course, as newlyweds, you and your spouse are in the best position to talk about money while working to fix your finances.

What joint finances mean is different for every couple. Some couples keep most of their money separate and only share one or two bank accounts. Other couples combine everything — bank accounts, credit cards, investment accounts and more. When it comes to consolidating your finances, there are no right or wrong answers. Instead, it’s important to find the best solution for you and your husband.

Getting your finances together is a complicated process. It requires patience, empathy and a willingness to compromise. In this guide, we’ll discuss some of the most common interpersonal obstacles newlyweds face when trying to get their finances in order.

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Reaching consensus and making important decisions together are unique challenges in economic integration. However, whichever method you ultimately choose, here are three things you can do to successfully manage your money on a monthly or daily basis:

Personal money management should always start with understanding what you value and want. As a joint family, you should combine these ideas and come up with a list of common priorities that you support and believe in. These preferences help influence your most important financial decisions.

At the most basic level, a budget tells you how much money you want to have and where you think the money will be spent. Your income and expenses will likely change once you get married, so it’s important to create a new joint budget or review your personal budget.

How To Keep Finances Separate In Marriage

While your budget represents a theoretical version of your financial situation, your spending plan turns theory into reality. A spending plan provides details that your budget doesn’t — it tells you how you’ll meet your expenses and achieve your goals. It’s important to make sure you have a plan in place when combining your finances to avoid misunderstandings and confusion.

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Regardless of your relationship status, these three personal finance factors are important. However, before making such decisions in your newly merged family, you need to lay some groundwork.

The hardest part of integrating finance is often the first conversation. If you are not used to talking about money, it is difficult to speak openly and honestly. Beyond that, your money beliefs may differ from your partner’s. That’s why it’s important to talk about money before committing to anything.

Honesty is crucial when it comes to money and marriage. However, it is difficult to tell the truth if you are not sure about your financial situation. That’s why it’s important to be honest – first with yourself, then with your husband.

Talking about money can be difficult. If one or more of you feel uncomfortable with the subject, it can derail your efforts before you even begin.

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Lauren Klein, CFP®, founder of Klein Advisors in Newport Beach, California, recommends that all couples create one first.

. Although a marital balance sheet is commonly used during divorce, Klein explains why it is important for spouses to use a balance sheet (or list of assets and liabilities) at the beginning of the marriage.

“I think everyone should know what their marital balance is when they get married…it’s a true, complete picture of you as a couple. It allows both spouses to understand what’s “mine” and what’s “yours.” It’s “ours.” It’s about your overall financial situation. Way to start a marriage with a clear understanding.”

How To Keep Finances Separate In Marriage

Listed on a marital balance sheet are: assets (bank accounts, investments, property) and liabilities (student loans, credit card balances) and their owners.

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“Rules vary from state to state, but in California, for example, when you get married you own what you own. Income earned during the marriage belongs to both spouses. So when you get married, they get wedding gifts.” Klein explained.

After completing your marital budget and sharing your financial situation with others, you and your spouse should prepare for any financial surprises. Whether it’s an unexpected credit card balance or a surprising student loan, you and your spouse need to adjust to your current financial situation.

For Grand Rapids, Michigan blogger Rachel Smith, her husband’s six-figure student loan balance came as a surprise.

“My husband thought he had $65,000 in student loans. After we got married, we both found out he actually had $165,000. That’s how our marriage started, and I’m sure a lot of our financial journey came from this, it was determined,” Smith said.

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Smith and her husband are now debt-free, but the journey hasn’t been easy. One of the main ways they can get through this is through shared goals and non-judgmental conversations.

It can be difficult, but one of the best ways to have productive money conversations with your spouse is to create a space without judgment. Regardless of your partner’s financial situation, it’s important to approach them with compassion and neutrality when making plans together.

Derek Bostian, CFP® and managing partner of Two Waters Wealth offers some advice. “Try to sit down with your partner and try to be transparent with them,” says Bostian. “Make sure you’re on the same page. Ultimately, I think people overestimate how their spouse will react to financial news, both negative and positive. Ultimately, you have to find a way to overcome financial obstacles together.” .

How To Keep Finances Separate In Marriage

After you’ve had your first money conversation, it’s time to get on the same page with your spouse. It’s impossible to create a complete financial plan in one meeting, so it’s important to keep the conversation going when starting to work on financial issues.

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“My wife and I had a ‘financial summit’ shortly before we got married, where we sat down and discussed everything,” says Chris Ball, a financial advisor in Royal Oak, Michigan. “I had a lot of debt at the time and I confessed to her and my desire to get rid of it.

“The first year we set our goals and what we wanted to accomplish together. We consolidated our finances and had regular monthly check-ins, usually combined with date nights. When we achieved our goals, we did it nine, ten, eight years later. We’re still doing it.”

Bostian echoed that advice: “It’s not a one-time conversation. It’s something you should reconsider. At the end of the day, marriage is one of the biggest business decisions you’ll ever make.” .

Talking about money is hard, but that doesn’t mean you have to fight with your spouse about it.

Should Couples Merge Their Finances?

“Arguments and conflicts are part of every relationship, no matter how much you want to avoid them,” says Bostian. “You have a strategy where you each have two minutes to make your point, then the other person has two minutes to counter, and then you keep going until you find a solution. Make sure you have common ground together.”

Similarly, Justin Pritchard, CFP® of Approach Financial in Montrose, Colorado, recommends that couples choose their conversation time strategically to avoid unnecessary arguments.

“Set aside a special time to talk about money. Make sure everyone is emotionally ready to discuss the topic. No one should be hungry during the conversation, and you don’t have to be “out the door.” The person who started the conversation won’t be ignored if the other person doesn’t have the time, energy, or inclination for an impromptu discussion.

How To Keep Finances Separate In Marriage

“If things get heated, agree on how to take a timeout and remember that how you ask for a timeout is just as important as how you take it.”

The 3 Money Conversations You And Your Partner Need To Have

Here’s the thing – you and your spouse are people with different backgrounds. That means you have a different experience and different expectations about money. Instead of seeing your differences as a problem, try to see them as a source of strength.

“When you talk about money, recognize that it’s about more than just money,” says Pritchard. “How each partner feels about the outcome is more important to the relationship than what you do with the money.”

Klein agrees

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John Pablo

📅 Born: May 15, 1985 📍 Location: New York City 🖋️ Writer | Financial Enthusiast Welcome to my corner of the web! I'm John Pablo—a finance enthusiast and writer passionate about making money matters simple and accessible.

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