How To Deal With Finances In A Marriage

How To Deal With Finances In A Marriage – Sharing finances is one of the hardest things to do in a marriage. Here are ways to correct and prevent money imbalances in relationships.

Sharing finances in a marriage is not like learning to share a car with your family or learning to share a TV remote.

How To Deal With Finances In A Marriage

This is because when two people are involved in managing limited resources, conflict arises.

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Different ideas about how to spend money (driven by different values ​​of money, money experiences, needs, wants, etc.), different ideas about how much money should be saved, different incomes, different expectations, etc.

First, let’s look at the basics of a strong financial union in marriage, to find out how to properly divide finances in marriage AND what can go wrong to force you to solve money problems in your relationship.

I believe you both should know what you are getting into before you get into all the trouble.

Heck, even just reading this list can help, because you might see some problems you didn’t know you had (because they’re so superficial).

How To Have A Financially Healthy Marriage

Financial Intimacy: Being able to collaborate and share your thoughts, feelings, needs and desires with your partner in a safe space.

If you load multiple accounts, or are their hands full? Then you leave.

Do not worry. Next, I’ll share specific things you can do together to achieve financial intimacy.

I also feel this in my own family – both when we have money as a goal and when money is an issue.

Pdf) Strong Families: Tips For Healthy Financial Management

For example, when we were newly engaged, we had $25,000 in debt between us. Read all about how we worked together in 15 months to get out of debt (including our wedding, an 11-day honeymoon in Austria, and a down payment).

Have you ever noticed how all the stress—financial and otherwise—disappears when you do something fun together?

Not only that, but infusing your relationship with fun experiences will help both of you keep things in perspective.

Financial problems don’t last forever, and you can both look at each other with love instead of frustration, anger, helplessness, or anything else that comes with financial stress.

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This is an unfortunate truth that many American couples feel at some point in their marriages (as a personal finance writer for 10 years, I’ve heard this a lot).

One thing I’ve learned is that financial stress in a relationship can come up in two different ways (and yes, it helps to categorize it so you can better deal with it):

I will show you specific examples that I have witnessed or heard over the years. Pay attention, because this is how money ruins relationships (but should you? No

Psst: You might want to check out one of these free online marriage counseling courses and this article about how things change financially after marriage. Examples of financial stress in foreign relations

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When there is a money imbalance in the relationship, for example, when one person earns all or more of the money, or one person spends more than the other, the potential for conflict is greater.

I want to share a story with you to show you that the best-planned financial system for you and your partner (the system you set up to avoid money problems in your family?) often needs tweaking and even overhaul. . I know ours.

Imagine this: About four years ago, we had, among other things, a strict financial plan (

We are a few months away from paying off our non-mortgage debt and the future looks bright.

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After pooling our finances into one big pot, paying all our bills, we decided on a free and clear personal spending amount that we could spend on whatever we wanted.

), we have myself as Maverick (pilot) and Paul Goose (co-pilot) on the day-to-day financial side, occasionally sitting down to make sure we’re on the same page.

We became busy and our occasional meetings became as believable as the 15 million dollars the Nigerian man promised me via email. Our communication is a bit cloudy. In the past year or two, our family has become a cute, fluffy and down-to-earth team. Team Cheer Grinch spoilers…not a great way to manage finances.

I sometimes think of sudden accusations, and it is the opposite of too much scrutiny. That we were “on the same page” was broken. Where we used to compromise and walk away feeling like we both won, now it’s more of a competition for our individual needs.

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Psst: Struggling with financial dirt in your marriage? You might want to check out my article on this. Financial sharing in marriage: I did something I never thought I could do

One day I had an idea of ​​what it would be like, but to be honest, I was afraid to live it.

I knew I had to hand over the financial reins to Paul, who was ready and eager to take over.

I’m afraid to let go of control because I don’t know what will happen. Since Paul has given up on our finances, I’m not sure he’ll be able to keep us on track financially.

Here’s Why Married Couples Should Combine Their Finances

Will we miss a payment when changing controllers that are foggy? Will a sharp drop in demand result in higher costs? How about negotiating when renewing insurance payments or remembering to put groceries on our debit card for proper billing?

. We were sitting in the living room on a typical Tuesday night, and he noticed that a can of Coke was more expensive than a two-liter bottle. While watching a news segment about a couple in deep debt, he looked at me with a meaningful smile, sharing his financial moments and insights.

One day she went grocery shopping with “celery” on the list, and I tried to make some of my grandmother’s stuffing, instead I brought down some chopped celery from her trip. She smiled awkwardly and said, “Sorry, I saw the container for a dollar, so instead of getting a bunch of celery, I ended up using your recipe.”

And also. Since our lives depend on it, I stop depending / overthinking / tracking every penny, which frees up more time and energy for other things. Peace of mind, I don’t dread the thought of talking to Paul about anything financial. Is it…

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We are a team, we communicate, we value each other, and the roles and functions we perform are greater.

Is one of these nightmare scenarios playing out in my head? Yes, we missed the first month’s payment. But it only happened once, and Paul was very apologetic. No late fees and he fixed things quickly.

Overall, the accomplishments are remarkable. We seem to have reached new heights financially in many other ways. We grew to respect and understand each other as we took our shoes off and put them on for a while (seeing I’m a size 6.5 and hubby is a size 12…kind of awkward here. first). Although I will take on more of the financial side in the future, I enjoy working with them and Paul has decided that he wants to marry someone who enjoys working with them – this change is very important. move forward together.

“The topics that husbands argue about the most are money, before work, spending quality time together… snoring, in-laws and what to have for dinner.”

If Your Husband Manages The Finances, This Is Also Emotional Labor

Want to be on the same page with your money partner? Struggling with money in your marriage? If you want financial intimacy like we do, check out my marriage and money and the marital finance lessons I’ve learned over the past decade of marriage.

Amanda L. Grossman is a certified financial education author and instructor, Plutus Foundation grantee, and founder of Frugal Confessions. For the past 13 years, his money work has helped people learn how to save and manage money. He has been featured in the Wall Street Journal, Kiplinger, Washington Post, USA. News & World Report, Business Insider, LifeHacker, Real Simple Magazine, Woman’s World, Woman’s Day, ABC 13 Houston, Keybank and more. Read more here. Today is the day we pay off your debt. MMI can take you to a debt-free day. come on

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