Deep Questions To Ask Your Partner Before Marriage

Deep Questions To Ask Your Partner Before Marriage – There are many questions to ask to get to know someone, and if you are ready to say “I do,” you will feel like you know everything about your partner. But if you plan to spend the rest of your life with someone, digging deep and thinking about the important questions to ask before marriage is key to a lasting relationship. There are more difficult conversations to be had, and questions to ask that will keep you from wondering, “should I go,” down the line.

“It is very important to ask and explore different questions because, especially in Western cultures, we tend to think too much about chemistry,” said Jor-El Caraballo, L.M.H.C., author and founder of Viva, a pharmacy. work with offices in NY, CA and PA. “And what the research says about relationships is that issues related to compatibility and loyalty are very important to the longevity of relationships over time.”

Deep Questions To Ask Your Partner Before Marriage

Being able to ask the right questions to make sure you and your partner are aligned in terms of values, goals and lifestyle is key to determining the longevity of a relationship, says Caraballo.

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Getting to know someone before tying the knot is about more than just asking dating questions before marriage – although those are very important (and on this list). Asking about family, friends, money, and other topics should be a priority.

Ahead, find sex-related questions to ask before marriage, intimacy questions, conflict questions and more. According to experts, these are the most important things to consider before tying the knot.

“One of the biggest challenges couples face, especially as time goes on, is having common life goals,” explains Caraballo. “One of the keys to successful relationships is setting goals, like life goals.” So make sure you ask your partner to paint a picture of what their life will look like in a few years, including things like what they do or where they want to live. Their answers to questions like these can identify challenges and opportunities for both of you in your future.

Like decisions about careers and where they want to live, having children is an important part of the lifestyle you and your partner want to live together, Caraballo said. . If they want children, how many children they want to have and how they want to raise their children are things that need to be clarified and agreed upon before proceeding.

Best Questions To Ask On A First Date, Per Experts

What is your spouse’s value to the family? How is their relationship with their parents and siblings? These questions are important because how a person treats their family is a big indicator of how they treat their partner, explains Vagdevi Meunier, Psy.D., licensed psychologist, certified Gottman Therapist and founder of the Relationship Center. Also, it is important to know the role their family plays in the decisions they make and the role their family plays in their life (even after marriage).

This question can help you understand financial literacy, the value of money, and help you understand how you and your partner can build a budget together, Caraballo explains. Questions that include past financial successes and failures, fears and anxieties about money, will help you understand your partner’s financial values ​​and see if they match yours.

Similarly, discussions about how you and your partner can manage money together are “difficult to have,” but important in a marriage, Meunier explains.

Start by asking your partner how they currently manage their money to get an idea of ​​things like debt and how important saving is to them. Then, discuss how they think you will spend money and money after you get married—do you have a budget or not?

Fun Questions For Couples

If a person has a large circle and different types of friends, friends who have known him for a long time, and good things to say about his friends, then “these are all good signs,” explains Meunier. “This person must have good interpersonal skills.”

Your partner’s perspective on their past relationships and what they say about past partners is a good indicator of their relationship skills, explains Meunier. If they had multiple short-term relationships, there’s no accountability for how and why things didn’t work out — that’s a red flag, Meunier continues. But if they’ve been in a long-term relationship and show an understanding of why the relationship ended or broke up, it shows that your partner is “self-aware and understanding.” Connection,” said Meunier. It’s over.

Knowing how your partner feels about sex and relationships is very important, says Meunier. You need to know if they are “good” lovers – if they care about your needs and what makes you happy, and find out what their expectations are when it comes to how often they want to sleep in a married couple or how. better to stay close and keep that spark alive.

As with sex and relationships, knowing how your partner views love to see if it matches the value you place on love is important to their well-being. The day the couple moves forward, according to Meunier. Do they plan to keep the love alive after the honeymoon is over? How do they plan to do this – should you tell them? And are you a good communicator?

Questions To Ask Your Girlfriend

“How you manage conflict is more important than what comes out of conflict, because that process reflects relationships,” Caraballo said. Observing how your partner handles conflict and resolving conflicts based on your own conflict resolution skills “will help take the heat out of their behavior,” Caraballo explains, “saying, ‘Oh, I get it—it’s control, how are we doing?’ Where is the conflict?”

“Many relationships break down because of a mismatch in the spiritual world,” explains Meunier. Sometimes people don’t fully understand their religious or spiritual beliefs and how those beliefs play out in their lives, which is often scary, Meunier continued. But eventually these beliefs come out – so there’s a lot to explain.

“In this day and age, political consistency is important,” Meunier said. “And you don’t have to think the same way. But you have to be good enough to talk about politics to decide, ‘Can I handle this person’s politics?’ “Think about it. in obtaining their knowledge. , or how hard or soft it is. If your beliefs are different, but not too different, there may be no problem. But if your partner’s beliefs are not the same as yours, there will be a loss of place in the relationship.

The idea of ​​commitment may not always be talked about, but the ways and means of commitment, and how your partner feels about them, are important to the health and longevity of your relationship, said Caraballo. Talking to your partner about their past experiences with intimacy, whether it’s when they stopped working and why, or the difficulties they faced and how honest they were at work, can help break down their values ​​and beliefs. in this area, according to Caraballo.

Questions To Ask A Guy

Talking about a divorce, breach of contract or bad relationship is “a very dangerous situation,” Caraballo said. “It’s worth checking out, though.” It is important to know if they are considering divorce or separation, and under what circumstances. For example, what functions or boundaries are not transferred? Additionally, Caraballo suggests asking how they deal with a major breakup or relationship breakdown—what are the best ways to fix things? Are they open to individual counseling or relationship therapy if you are both struggling?

Graduated from New York University at Cortland with a degree in English. When she’s not reading or writing, you can find her skincare and makeup forums on Reddit or hanging out at the gym.

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